I have been trying to process what this means to me. It's harder when I live far away from "my others" who are grieving. It's hard to appreciate that they share a collective grief and a collective memory of a big family occasion which I can never be a part of.
But as I reflect on my grandfather's life I'd like to share these things that I honour about him.
He was married almost 60 years to my gran. I can't imagine what that feels like: To lose someone you have spent your life with. Even though he has been in a home for a while he has still been a part of her life, her daily routine. What is it like to have that torn away from you? To have to build a new life at 70+ without the person you have always shared it with? But, 60 years? That's a commitment to aspire to.
One thing that is core to my memory of my grandparents is their dedication to mission: It is not something you see very often anymore. As a child staying in their home, I knew that after breakfast was Gran and Grandpa's prayer time for missionaries and other friends and family. They would sit silently at the kitchen table praying through names and prayer requests. They gave financially and offered rich hospitality to visiting missionaries. They even supported a family whose children went through Faith Academy - how funny is that? And I wonder how much of an impact that has had on our decision to be here, working as missionaries? I wonder if, right now, grandpa is celebrating having "slipped the surly bonds of earth" with those who are the fruit of his labours on behalf of missionaries?
And, mostly, I ponder my rich spiritual heritage. I have the privilege, on this side of my family, of coming from a line of at least 3 generations of believers. I think of the "generations" song of Sara Groves: "Remind me of this with every decision. Generations will reap what I sow. I can pass on a curse or a blessing to those I will never know." It reminds me how vibrant our faith is - it is not dependent on those who go before, it is our own - we make that choice as individuals but we surely have more opportunity to see it lived in ways that make us desire to follow Jesus too.
I have been doing the Beth Moore bible study, Living Beyond Yourself and it seems each week God has taught me a new lesson that has been applied in the days following. Last week we learned about God's peace - in every circumstance, not dependent on circumstance. It does not mean we do not feel the pain, the grief, but we do have peace. And I take comfort in 1 Thess 4: 13 "And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope". I have hope.
1 comment:
Debs, this is vintage and classic Deborah, so revealing and true both as a memory and as a reality. we were all greatly moved and David Le Page was keen to highlight the missionary involvement in his own life.
Thanks love you are a very gifted star. Dad
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